Is it rude to not respond to people in an online discussion? The short article below is a modified extract from one I wrote on 21 September 2010. I was thinking aloud about the etiquette of moderating, ie chairing, online discussions. I think what I wrote still applies ten years later, in the context of overseeing discussions in online classes.
Zoom meeting, by Terry Freedman
To respond to every comment in a discussion looks suspiciously like wanting to always have the last word, which could easily have the exact opposite effect to the one hoped for. That is to say, it may lead people to stop contributing altogether.
Yet ignoring contributions is also rude, and saying something like “I see your point” can easily sound sarcastic and dismissive, for the reasons already mentioned.
Rightly or wrongly, I have adopted a similar approach online as I do offline. When chairing a discussion in a physical room, I try not to answer comments, but to encourage other people to do so, and to ensure that everyone who wishes to have their say can do so. Now and again I will throw a curved ball or a contentious statement to get things moving again. As the discussion gathers momentum, my role changes from being an instigator to, I suppose, an orchestra conductor, making sure everything is running smoothly and that no soloist hogs the limelight for too long!
I think the same approach has to be taken online too. A slightly harder challenge is getting the silent people to speak. And even in that context, one has to walk a fine line between encouraging someone to voice their opinions and respecting their (possibly implied) preference to say nothing.
If you happen to join a discussion or class that I’m chairing, and put your two cents’-worth in, forgive me if I don’t respond: I’m not being discourteous, I’m just being a moderator.
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