When I started at a school where part of my role was to encourage other teachers to use the education technology facilities, one of the strategies I used was to produce fake news stories using the school’s desktop publishing software.

I wanted to demonstrate that it would be easy for teachers to produce their own subject-related news reports, or have their students do so.

For example, the History department might have a newspaper such as:

The Runnymede Chronicle

King John caves in to barons’ demands.

“We know our rights!” said a spokesman.

Here are two of the stories I produced. The one about the departmental takeover was obviously false, but was based on the fact that I was obliged to attend several courses in school time to find out what a newly-introduced GCSE course entailed.

The report one was almost true. The Head of Year had rejected all my reports on the grounds that she couldn’t read my signature. I replied that a signature was someone’s mark, it didn’t need to be read — especially as I’d printed my name underneath my signature on every report.

These spoofs did lead to some teachers exploring the use of DTP, so I considered my experience a success!

All names except my own have been changed. Also, the original versions of these looked like real newspapers.

Story 1:

Head of Business Studies deposed

Terry Freedman, "teacher" of Business Studies and Information Technology at Bamford School, arrived back from an extended GRIST course yesterday only to find that his Department had been taken over by his second-in-command, Chloe Johnson.

The rooms B2 to B5 had all had their locks changed in what appears to have been a well-planned and bloodless coup. Mrs Johnson said that the take-over had been necessary in order to stop the insidious development of Information Technology" into every aspect of the Department. For example, Chairman Tel, as he liked to be called, would refuse to even enter a room which was not equipped with at least one computer. Last night Chairman Tel had been granted political asylum by the English Department, although his exact whereabouts were unknown.

Story 2:

The Bamford Bugle
FIRST WITH THE NEWS!

OAKIE DENIES "VICTIMISATION SLUR"

Carrie Oakie, senior teacher at Bamford School, yesterday denied that she was waging a "vicious campaign" against one of her tutorial team, Terry Freedman.

"While it is true that I have asked Mr Freedman to change his handwriting, his signature and his personality, this in no way reflects my personal feelings towards Mr Freedman. It is a purely professional matter.", said Mrs Oakie yesterday.

Mr Freedman was unable to comment until he had spoken to his solicitor. 

While relations between Mrs Oakie and Mr Freedman have always been somewhat strained, the spark that lit the powder keg blazing at the moment seems to be Mr Freedman's use of the word "alacritous" in one of his student reports. Challenging the legibility, spelling and usage of the word, Mrs Oakie proclaimed that it was, in any event, "completely unacceptable" to have more than three words in any one report beginning with the letter "a". Mr Freedman refuted this, saying "To Me, reports are a form of poetry, and provide the ideal vehicle for alliterative allusion and critical comment". The case continues.